DEAR ANNIE: I have a 40-year-old child who is transitioning from male to female. I was told of this decision by email. We haven’t had much in-person discussion about this, but each time I post a picture or a memory, I feel I’m being scolded by them saying, “That’s not who I am anymore,” as if anything we did together or any memory I have doesn’t exist.
I invite her to spend time with me and my husband so we can all adjust to our new roles but get turned down -- except for holidays. I’m very confused about this whole thing. I’m not young, but I try to be flexible and accepting of people’s choices and feel that everyone has a right to happiness. I just don’t know how to make it work. To top it off, I am seriously ill and may die before the transition is complete and may never know this person or have a relationship with her. -- Confused Mom
DEAR CONFUSED MOM: Your love for your child is clear to me, and you need to make sure it is clear to her as well. Tell her in no uncertain terms that you love her, support her and are doing all that you can to educate yourself on what it means to be transgender.
Then, you need to walk the walk. I am guessing your daughter is exhausted by having to explain her identity to people. Show her that you are putting in the work by proactively learning about transgender issues.